Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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