I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My penis needs a shock collar
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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