dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
