I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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