The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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