So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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