just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
