I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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