My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
