you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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