Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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