escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
