I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
someone owes me an orgasm
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
