I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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