And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Text me some of your sweat
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