Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
