just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
i out mim tonsoeep
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