i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
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