If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
