I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
