And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Randomize
