bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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