I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize