what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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