my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
