she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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