Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
