windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize