her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
