so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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