i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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