what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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