i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
