if i died would you start the facebook group?
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
