fuck your aforementioned shoe
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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