After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
