What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
