We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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