Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
