Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
