i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
