Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
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