when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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