Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
