Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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