So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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