I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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