Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
