i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Pants are for mortals
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize
