She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize