After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
