have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Randomize
