I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
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