like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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