Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
