I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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