i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I am mentally ready for anal.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
