Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
