You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i don't like sucking hair
You work out of a Hotel?
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Randomize
