When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
