Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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