I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
