they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
