I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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