I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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