Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
