were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
