His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
How external is "for external use only"?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
