You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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