any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
